Life with Two Children

This blog post has been in my head for 4 months now, and I've been ruminating on it and editing it in my head, so now is the time to put it out there for the world to see.

Life with 2 Kids!

I know, you mamas of 3, 4, 5+ kids are saying "Honey, you ain't seen nuthin' yet."  And they are right!  But, I do know I was really anxious right before delivering Ellie about what life with be like as a family of four, not sure how I'd handle a toddler and a newborn, so I wanted to pass on encouragement to mamas who are about to have their second child (don't worry!  It's fun and manageable!)

Because I have SO many thoughts in my head, I decided to do a Q&A session, with myself.  Ha!  But it's the only way I can think to organize.

1) What about the lack of sleep?

~My college roommates can attest to the fact that I NEED SLEEP!  Seriously, I was the one who went to bed early, got up early, and I was a big cranky ball of nerves if I got less than 7 hours of sleep.

But, the Lord has been so gracious in giving me an abundance of energy, despite going on approximately 3 hours of sleep for the first two months of Ellie's life.  The difference this time around is that you realize the newborn stage won't last forever.  In fact, it goes by rather quickly.  The sleepless nights won't last forever.  So hang in there, become best friends with your TIVO'd shows at 2 a.m., and pray pray pray for grace, mercy, and patience with your toddler.  The Lord is faithful, trust in Him.  "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."  Philippians 2:13

 Ellie, Christmas Day 2012

2) Scheduling your newborn?

~For those of you who know me, I am a fairly organized, type A firstborn, Neonatal ICU nurse, so I'm used to babies being on a schedule.  But surprisingly, I haven't scheduled with my babies.  I really have not followed the BabyWise model at all.  I feed my newborns when they are hungry, and they have honestly scheduled themselves.  It's amazing how Ellie has stretched for longer periods, and around 10 weeks of age, she stretched longer at night in her sleeping habits.  I didn't stress over it, and it just happened.

I actually enjoy my more laid back approach, since I don't stress if my baby gets "off schedule."  Some moms can't handle that, so if you enjoy a schedule, then go for it.  I think all moms need to give each other LOTS of grace in this area, lots of grace being mamas, and be careful with the many opinions and advice it's easy to throw out there.  There is no right way to the newborn stage.

Jackson, 2 days old, January 2011

3)  How do you cook with 2 kids?

~Ha, you don't.  :)  I have learned that when someone offers help or to bring a meal, I graciously say "Yes, thank you!"  Don't feel bad in receiving help during this stage.  I think you honestly need 2 weeks of help in the beginning as you're recovering from your delivery.  And you need someone to play with your toddler while you adjust and recover.  Back to cooking...thankfully I got on a huge nesting kick right before Ellie came and I cooked and froze a bunch of meals.  After our church meals stopped (which were amazing and we appreciated every single meal!), I have been pulling the frozen meals out.  Or I'm cooking what is in the pantry, even if it's easy tacos or spaghetti. 

Interestingly, I have wanted to cook this time around.  With Jackson I thought I would NEVER be able to cook again.  This time around, I guess I feel more "normal" in my routine.  So I cook mainly when Andy is home, or after the kids have gone to bed.  

Don't you love these random pictures I'm putting in here?  A blog without pictures is pretty boring.

4)  How to balance time with toddler and newborn?

~ Most kids regress a little when there is an addition to their family.  My parents quickly realized they needed to focus on Jackson first when they came over.  Then they could give their attention to Ellie. My friend Barbie correctly and wisely told us that 2nd children are hardest on the Dads.  With the first child, the dad could pretty much relax when they came home from work, since the baby just slept and ate and that's about it.  With the second child, the toddler is running to daddy when he gets home from work, demanding his time and attention, and mommies need daddies to play with the toddler while they finish up dinner and take care of the newborn.

In regards to balancing time, I try to spend quality and intentional time with Jackson in the morning while Ellie naps.  We read read read, play, he will help me clean the house.  Sometimes Mickey Mouse will help to babysit Jackson while I go put on make-up and finish getting ready before we run errands.  Speaking of running errands, it took me about 6 weeks before taking both kids someplace.  I will still mainly go to the grocery store with one child or after both kids go to bed.  Running errands is a slow business, but again, give yourself grace here, and if you can only run one errand a day, then so be it.  Don't wear yourself out.

Also, toddlers do well with a schedule.  I'm still thinking and praying about what a schedule looks like with our new family, and I'd LOVE input from other mamas.  But our days look like this:  Breakfast, nap time for Ellie and mommy time with Jackson (whether it's cooking, cleaning, reading, etc), feeding Ellie, late morning nap for Ellie while we run one errand (and really, I can only do one errand a day with both kids, for now at least), lunch, nap time for all!, then play in afternoon, all the while nursing Ellie and then getting her to sleep.

5)  When do you do quiet times?

~I'm still figuring that out.  On a very rare morning I have gotten up early, but that is very rare.  Usually I listen to lots of praise music, and that has been my time of ministering to me and worshiping the Lord, as well as instilling praise music in my kids.  Every morning and night when I'm brushing my teeth and washing my face, I look at this verse I have posted on my bathroom mirror:

"Pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord; lift your hands toward Him for the life of your young children."  Lamentations 2:19

I feel it's very important to pray without ceasing (as Paul admonishes us in the New Testament), especially over all aspects of your childrens' lives.  It is a learned discipline and one I'm constantly trying to do.

Okay, that's all the Q&A I can think of now, but if y'all have any questions, please don't hesitate to comment, and we can even discuss privately.  But know that you can do it and that God's grace is sufficient for you!