Today was a great reminder of God's truth to me:
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." II Corinthians 12:9
I know blogs can, for the most part, feel cheery and happy and blissful. Happy smiling couples who never fight or argue, happy smiling children who never whine or cry or grumble. Happy perfect homes with never a pillow out of place nor a crumb on the counter top.
While I would say I'm a fairly contented person with life, and with this life God has given me, today just wasn't those "full of contentment" days.
I now understand why women say that second pregnancies can make you really tired. And I don't mean take a brief nap and then you'll have tons of energy. I mean REALLY.TIRED.ALL.THE.TIME. Maybe that's a combination of me working 2 jobs (NICU and now Lactation), trying to clean up our home, feed our family (cooking is low low low on my priority list these days), being a single mom while Andy is out of town for work (for what seems like every day, but it's not that often. Just these past two weeks). It can be hard and tiring, and today was just one of those plumb tired days. A day where Jackson napped from 10-11:20 a.m. That's it. Our day then consisted of an overwhelming but fun visit to the McWane Science Center where I had to physically pry him away from the building because he didn't want to leave. A loud trip to the library. Chasing chasing chasing my fearless but fun runner.
YET...
God is faithful in reminding me of His truths. Just now, because I was too tired to read to him while Jackson drank his milk before bed, I turned on the Christian television station, and God was so faithful in providing Chris Tomlin's lyrics to me:
"I Will Rise"
There's a peace I've come to know
Though my heart and flesh may fail
There's an anchor for my soul
I can say "It is well"
Jesus has overcome
And the grave is overwhelmed
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead
[Chorus:]
And I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow, no more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings
Before my God fall on my knees
And rise
I will rise
There's a day that's drawing near
When this darkness breaks to light
And the shadows disappear
And my faith shall be my eyes
And I hear the voice of many angels sing,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
And I hear the cry of every longing heart,
"Worthy is the Lamb"
With tears slightly streaming down this tired momma's face, I had my own quiet worship service, holding one hand up in praise and surrender, and the other arm holding a smiling toddler, content to be snuggled up with his mommy. I wouldn't trade my "tiredness" or my long day for anything. God has placed me on this earth right where I am, right now, and even when life seems overwhelming at times, if we just look up, He'll guide us, He'll give us encouragement, He'll strengthen us.
I apologize for what could appear to be a blog of complaining (for after all, I have nothing to complain about. I have not vomited in this pregnancy; toddler #1 and baby #2 are healthy; I am healthy; I have a car with wonderfully working A/C to drive; I have a home over my head; a husband who works hard to provide; a job of my own that I enjoy; plenty of food to eat, etc.)...
I just wanted to have a moment of "real-ness." Am I crazy? Other moms...thoughts???
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." II Corinthians 12:9
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No, you are real. And every mama out there can entirely relate to this post. We all have our days that we are tired and trying to do it all and we love taking care of our families and precious little ones...but we are tired even without being pregnant. Thanks for sharing a real day and how wonderful God provided you with some peace and strength through a beautiful song. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI feel you on this 100%! Number 2 is taking it out of me this time. I feel guilty when I get home from work and whit is whining and my way around it is to let him watch a show bc that is all I want to do, when I have not even been with him all day! I think this is a hard time though because they are starting to "test" us and its not easy at all! We are so blessed and so lucky to have everything we do! I am even jealous of you bc you get to be home with Jackson most of the time! We will make it though!
ReplyDeleteIt's just hard. Some days make you realize it more than others. Hang in there, okay?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the encouragement and advice sweet friends! Today is a NEW day :) (And, I just might be opting for a second caffeinated beverage later on in the day too.)
ReplyDeleteYou're doing great. Pregnancy when you already have children is just a whole 'nother ball game. You'll make it through and start to feel better!
ReplyDeleteElizabeth, I'm glad you encouraged me with the hope that things will get better. While we've always desired 3 or 4 children, just tonight I was thinking "this may be it!". What a bad time to be making such a dramatic statement in my head...at 10 pm after a good but long day. Glad to hear it gets better!!
ReplyDeleteI can totally understand...especially now that I am about to POP! It is hard to hold Lane and carry him around, play around on the floor with him, etc. BUT, I know it is all worth it and like you said, how blessed that we have/are having two healthy children! At least you have a good reason during all of the holiday hustle and bustle to RELAX and lay low! Blessings on your next few months!
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